My love for The Son of Man and Christianity as a way of life is infinite, however, I find it impossible to believe in a metaphysical world.
This poem is my personal view of God, Jesus, and Mary Magdalene. Please do not continue reading if you are easily offended or intolerant of other peoples' views.
This poem is largely inspired by the novel The Last Temptation of Christ by Nikos Kazantzakis.
Lover of the wife; father of the child; seducer of the bride. All my life, you tortured me. The father I love, you crippled. Now he splutters in the corner— a voice without words. When I was a child, I asked you for a toy— you promised me four nails. Each night you come into my dreams, your face is menacing and your heart is black. I cry out in terror— I'm not the promised one, but you holler and tell me I have no choice. When I became a man, How I loved the Rabbi's daughter! But you took her away from me and passed her on to other men. I died a thousand times when I heard her cry in shame. I died thousands more when I saw her close the drapes; and, in that house with a red lamp burning in the window, I hear Mary weeping for a death foretold. Hear me, I love my father; I am not your son; I make crosses to kill your prophets; I still want the Rabbi’s daughter. And yet I know... I must die tomorrow.
Read all the poems inspired by The Last Temptation of Christ
A few words about the poem…
The Frailty and Triumph of a Human Messiah | A Poem About God
In his ground-breaking novel "The Last Temptation of Christ," Nikos Kazantzakis presents a profound and provocative reimagining of Jesus Christ, not as a divine being untouched by human frailties, but as a man burdened with fears, doubts, and a yearning for life unbound by the weight of Messiahship. Within the pages of this novel, Kazantzakis paints a deeply human portrait of Jesus, a figure who grapples with the complexities of love, desire, and the overwhelming prospect of his destiny.
"I Must Die Tomorrow," inspired by Kazantzakis' novel, is a poignant and introspective poem about God that encapsulates the inner turmoil and conflicting emotions experienced by Jesus throughout his journey. The poem serves as a powerful reflection on the struggles faced by the human Messiah, highlighting his vulnerabilities, desires, and the sacrifices he must make for the greater good of humanity.
The opening lines of the poem resonate with the paradoxical nature of Jesus' existence. He condemns God for being the seducer of the young bride and fathering a child with another man’s wife. These conflicting roles symbolize the profound conflicts that arise when divine purpose clashes with human desires and relationships. The protagonist's tortured existence is brought to the forefront, as the man he has come to love as his father, is crippled and rendered speechless, mirroring the pain and isolation Jesus experiences throughout his journey.
As the poem progresses, the narrator delves into his past, recounting his childhood pleas for a toy, only to be granted the promise of four nails. This haunting metaphor captures the looming spectre of crucifixion, the destiny that awaits Jesus, and the weight of his divine calling. The recurring presence of the narrator's tormentor, a menacing figure with a black heart, emphasizes the internal struggles and doubts that plague the human Messiah.
The poem then takes a poignant turn, delving into the narrator's love for the Rabbi's daughter, Mary Magdalene. Here, Kazantzakis explores the complex realm of human emotions, as Jesus confesses his profound affection for her. However, the divine plan intervenes, tearing them apart and subjecting Mary to the embrace of other men. The narrator's anguish is palpable, as he recounts the pain of hearing her cries of shame and witnessing her close the curtains to hide her fate. The image of the house with a red lamp burning in the window evokes a sense of foreboding, signifying the impending tragedy that awaits both Jesus and Mary.
In the face of these profound human emotions, desires, and suffering, Jesus asserts his love for his earthly father, his defiance towards his tormentor, and his yearning for the Rabbi's daughter. Despite these human attachments, there is an underlying awareness that he is not merely a mortal man but a figure destined for a greater purpose. He acknowledges his role in crafting crosses to challenge the established order and the longing he still holds for the forbidden love of Mary Magdalene. Yet, in the depths of his being, he is conscious that his fate is sealed: he must die tomorrow.
Through this evocative and introspective poem, "I Must Die Tomorrow," we are immersed in the raw and poignant humanity of Jesus, as imagined by Kazantzakis. It highlights the internal conflicts, desires, and sacrifices of a figure burdened with a divine calling. The poem serves as a testament to the triumph of a man who rises above his human frailties, ultimately embracing his destiny and the profound magnitude of his sacrifice for the sake of humanity.
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