The goddess commanded silence!
She was raging; I had disturbed her reverie
and though I said she was my only lover,
she scorned me and told me I was a stranger.
She broke my guitar, she burned my parchments
and locked away all my songs inside a jar.
Yet all the profanities she rants, arouse me—
I am seduced by the wasted purity of her youth.
Some days she vanishes deep into the forest
and when she is back, she has the scent
of jasmine blossom in her hair.
She tells me once she loved a man who tried
to mould her, but now she has broken free.
Then she loads her fever on another's shoulder
and leaves the mountain for days.
On violet-coloured nights, she sits by the shore
looking at the horizon but he who once heard
her cry at dawn will not return and my lover weeps.
Her lips taste of brine and the anger of the sea.
I strum a broken chord on the guitar she wrecked
but she reminds me of my oath of silence
and orders me to leave her.
Then she lies on my bed with eyes half-closed
and has the taste of May on her breasts.
My green-eyed lover beguiles me.
At last, I'm inside her twisted mind,
a familiar labyrinth of lust and a myriad
of delicious rooms of sheer depravity.
Part of the mosaics cycle of poems
A few words about the poem…
The Tumultuous Journey of Two Poet-lovers Entangled in the Depths of Toxic Love
Embarking on the tumultuous journey of two poet-lovers ensnared in the depths of toxic love, the examination of the poem titled "Portrait of the Poet as a Lover" thrusts readers into intricate realms. This poetic exploration, employing a descriptive and evocative style, navigates through waves of emotion and passion, creating a narrative that may stir the reader's emotions.
The verses begin with a commanding directive from an unseen force – a goddess imposing silence. This stark introduction sets the tone for a narrative where external influences wield significant power over the poet's love experience. The poet conveys the goddess's displeasure at the disruption of a dream, shattered by the poet's intrusion. This serves as a prelude to the overarching theme—the consequences of deviating from societal and divine expectations in matters of love.
The poet confesses to being an outsider in the realm of love, revealed by the goddess herself. The ensuing destruction of the poet's guitar and the confinement of songs in an ancient vessel metaphorically illustrate the stifling impact of societal norms on creative expression. The poem's evocative language weaves a tale of artistic repression while allowing for layers of interpretation.
The recurrent motif of the goddess's curses and the later desecration of the poet's possessions act as a poignant metaphor for the destructive nature of toxic love. The poet's evocation of the goddess's temper conveys the profound impact of societal judgment on individual autonomy.
Yet, within the overarching theme of destruction, the poem introduces moments of heightened passion and excitement associated with toxic love. The goddess, despite her wrath, becomes an alluring figure. The poet's admission of being enticed by her curses and the seductive descriptions of her, with lips tasting of salt and the fury of the sea, portray a love that is both captivating and perilous. These moments of intensity, though fleeting, provide a counterpoint to the prevailing melancholy.
The central figure, the goddess, is characterized by enigmatic wanderings in the forest and her return with the scent of jasmine blossom in her hair. This complex portrayal hints at the dual nature of toxic love—elusive and unpredictable yet retaining a lingering sweetness. The poem crafts an image of a woman who defies societal expectations and embraces the untamed spirit of May, using the spring month as another metaphor. The dichotomy of her character adds depth to the exploration of toxic love, challenging conventional notions of morality and virtue.
As the narrative unfolds, the goddess shares a tale of a past love, a man who sought to control her but ultimately lost her. This revelation introduces a layer of irony, as the one who once faced restrictions now revels in freedom, loading her dreams onto another's shoulders and disappearing into the mountains. The poem's nuanced storytelling maintains the informative tone while adding layers of complexity to the thematic exploration.
The violet nights find the goddess alone on the shore, her gaze fixed on the horizon. The absence of the one who heard her first cry leaves the reader with a sense of abandonment and sorrow. The poem refrains from expressing sentiment but relies on descriptive language to convey the emotional weight of solitude. The use of colour imagery, such as violet nights, adds visual richness to the portrayal of the goddess's loneliness.
The concluding stanza introduces a moment of vulnerability as the goddess instructs the poet to leave. The purple bed, her half-closed green eyes, and the lingering scent of May encapsulate a scene of bittersweet farewell. The broken guitar string, symbolic of the poet's silenced voice, resonates with the overarching theme of societal suppression. The poem, in depicting the goddess's vulnerability, challenges the authoritative forces that dictate the boundaries of love.
In conclusion, the poem weaves a narrative exploring the complexities of toxic love. It navigates themes of societal judgment, artistic repression, and the dual nature of such relationships. The careful use of descriptive language creates a tapestry of emotions, allowing readers to delve into the nuanced layers of the poet's experience.
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