A stranger's face leaps
out of the looking glass.
In a panic, I peel
the layers searching for
the girl I knew, the girl
with the flower cotton dress.
Your life unfolds
on endless screens.
I am dazzled!
Many talk of your sainthood,
others compare you to a work of art.
In many people's eyes
you are equal to an angel,
an inspiration to Antony
some even may say
but they can only see
the laurels of your success
and not the coin we paid.
All stories have their season
and soon, you were craving
for all that lay beyond.
Every day, I nursed our wounds
and mended our broken bones;
every day, you killed us slowly until
we did not know each other anymore.
Our nights became silent.
We began to make love
without love until you had
nothing left for me anymore
not even your anger.
You waited each morning
by the quay scanning the horizon
for the ferry and you
traded in your cotton flower dress
for a shiny leather briefcase,
a powerful mission statement
and a Montblanc pen.
The neon lights of ambition
beckoned you to go.
Part of the Old Stories cycle of poems
A few words about the poem…
Melancholy Poems: The Descent of Lost Love in “Rumours of Your Sainthood"
In "Rumours of Your Sainthood," the poet crafts a narrative that explores the dissolution of love and the transformation of a once-intimate connection into something distant and unrecognisable. This poem fits seamlessly into the tradition of melancholy poems, with its themes of loss, disillusionment, and the quiet resignation that often accompanies the end of a relationship.
The poem opens with a striking image: "A stranger's face leaps / out of the looking glass." This metaphor sets the tone for the rest of the poem, highlighting the alienation and estrangement that has taken root. The poet's attempt to "peel the layers" in search of the girl in the "flower cotton dress" signifies a longing for the past, a desire to reconnect with the innocence and simplicity of what once was. Yet, this search is in vain, as the beloved has been consumed by the trappings of modern success and societal validation.
The progression of the beloved’s life, as narrated through the poem, is marked by a stark contrast between external adulation and internal decay. While others view her as a saint, an "inspiration to Antony," the poet remains painfully aware of the cost of this transformation. The poem emphasises the superficial nature of these accolades, noting that others "can only see / the laurels of your success / and not the coin we paid." The reference to "the coin" subtly alludes to the emotional and relational sacrifices made, a common theme in melancholy poems that explore the cost of ambition and the loss of personal connection.
The poem's narrative then shifts to the slow unravelling of the relationship. The poet’s role as a caretaker is juxtaposed with the beloved’s emotional withdrawal, as seen in the lines, "Every day, I nursed our wounds / and mended our broken bones; / every day, you killed us slowly." The use of the word "killed" here conveys the gradual and painful erosion of the relationship, a process that eventually leads to an emotional void where even anger—a sign of passion—no longer exists.
The final stanzas of the poem depict the beloved's complete departure from the relationship, both emotionally and physically. The symbolic act of trading in the "cotton flower dress" for a "shiny leather briefcase" marks the final step in her transformation. The imagery of the "neon lights of ambition" and the "Montblanc pen" highlights her embrace of a new identity, one that is distant from the shared past with the poet. The melancholy in this poem is encapsulated in this moment, where personal ambition has eclipsed love, leaving behind a sense of irreparable loss.
"Rumours of Your Sainthood" stands as a poignant example of melancholy poems that explore the themes of lost love and the alienation that often accompanies personal transformation. Through its vivid imagery and reflective tone, the poem captures the bittersweet reality of a relationship that could not withstand the pressures of ambition and change. The poet’s exploration of this emotional landscape offers a contemplative reflection on the nature of love, loss, and the passage of time.
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