It's the twentieth of December.
The Jewish minstrel strummed
his chords at 4 am and nailed me
to the stave in every minor scale.
I drift around the freezing streets
searching for the stairway
back to us in Little Venice.
Lovers mingle on the bridge,
they hold hands in bars and small cafés
and boats glisten on the water.
In your haste to be the Avant-Garde queen,
you denied me three times before the morning
and each time you grew more distant.
'There will never be another premiere,'
the master of ceremonies cries at noon.
Black limousines are waiting outside
my door, the red carpet is frayed
and scarred, and still, I hide behind the curtain
yearning for a glimpse of your fragrant life.
It's cold and dark today in Little Venice.
The light is fading fast, Christmas will be here
in five short days then a bleak endless winter.
Numb, I sit by the water scribbling muddled
verses about the jigsaw piece still missing.
Part of the Old Stories cycle of poems
A few words about the poem…
Melancholy Poems: Exploring Loss and Yearning in “Songs at 4 am”
"Songs at 4 am" captures the sadness and despair of lost love against the backdrop of Little Venice, one the most beautiful parts of London. The first two stanzas situate the reader in a specific time and place, invoking a sense of personal disorientation as the speaker roams the streets, searching for a lost connection. The imagery of lovers on the bridge and glistening boats creates a juxtaposition of warmth and intimacy with the speaker's internal isolation.
The third stanza introduces a tension between personal ambition and emotional neglect. The speaker addresses a lover who, in pursuit of artistic distinction, has repeatedly distanced herself. This act of denial is likened to a biblical betrayal, intensifying the emotional gravity. The refrain of the master of ceremonies and the minstrel's song at 4 am suggests a recurring, unending sorrow, marked by the metaphorical crucifixion on the stave, emphasizing the speaker's emotional torment.
The mention of black limousines and a frayed red carpet symbolizes a funeral, hinting at the passage of time and an unfulfilled life as death approaches. The speaker's hiding behind the curtain reflects a reluctance to face reality, yet an undying hope for reconnection persists. The contrast between the opulence of the past and the starkness of the present underscores the theme of loss and longing.
The poem “Songs at 4 a.m.” from the series Melancholy Poems, concludes with a bleak depiction of the approaching winter, both literal and metaphorical. The cold and fading light of Little Venice serve as a metaphor for the speaker's desolation. As Christmas nears, a time typically associated with warmth and togetherness, the speaker is engulfed in a sense of endless winter, scribbling incomplete verses. This act of writing symbolizes a futile attempt to make sense of the unresolved emotional puzzle, highlighting the enduring pain of the missing piece.
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